Paul Fox

There Is No Future in ‘Survival’.

Survival, Thriving, Uncategorized No Responses »

May 142012

When was the last time you figured out how much of your time you spend in survival mode? I’d check if I was you – mostly our survival mode is unobserved by the self.

Survival based existence is just getting by, making it to the end of the day, putting on hold personal evolution or revolution. It’s forsaking longer term self growth and realising your potential for the immediate gratification of getting by or the prevention of disappearance into one’s own tight dark space.

One very capable, smart and savvy client I’m working with has just ‘got’ that his intent is to survive meetings with his boss. On reflection, in his words ‘pathetic’. My words, ‘good, now you can change to a more powerful intent (like raising the bar)- for you and your boss’.

The dictionary defines sur·viv·al as a noun as follows. ( I believe it’s more of a condition for the unsuspecting – not a noun):

The act or fact of surviving, especially under adverse or unusual circumstances.
A person or thing that survives or endures, especially an ancient custom, observance, belief, or the like.
Anthropology (no longer in technical use) the persistence of a cultural trait, practice, or the like long after it has lost its original meaning or usefulness.

Questions to identify the survivor:

Are you surviving until the weekend so you can do a bit of recovery and then start surviving again on Monday?
Are you engaged in activity professionally and personally that is more about thriving over surviving?
Do you spend your days in ‘fight or flight’ mode; pumped up, adrenalized, caffeinated, edgy!?
You feel its all about catch up, keep up – not about being ahead of the curve?
Are you happy with how your days, weeks, months and years are being used up? Clue – do you feel you have been surviving them versus thriving and squeezing the juice out of time?

Step 1.

Realisation is the first step, maybe the only step as all change flows from the wake up call.

Ask yourself ‘what is my intent in this situation. Am I just just trying to survive or am I maximising all I can be and all I can accomplish?’

Me, I have just woken up from a low level survival sleep and I never saw it happening. Somebody old and oriental said ‘what dosen’t kill you makes you stronger’.

We all get into survival at some point – the trick is to stop and notice.

To make progress.. just try getting away with it.

Confidence, Decisions, Happiness, Momentum, Uncategorized No Responses »

May 082012

People who tend to make the most headway and those who tend to spend less time waiting - don’t rely on corporate endorsement before taking action.

That’s not to say they take mad, irresponsible decisions and buck the system just to be rebellious. No, they are considered and are 99.9% sure of them-self. However, they are unhampered by the great corporate unsaid:

Ask around enough and someone will say no, squash your idea or find rules and processes to grind you to a halt.

Although I have frequently been guided by the North East principle that “Shy bairns get nowt”. (Translation! “If you don’t ask – you will never receive”) the guiding thought should be ‘don’t ask – just do it’.

Colin Powell said ‘Less effective middle managers endorse the sentiment, “If I haven’t explicitly been told ‘yes,’ I can’t do it,” whereas the good ones believed, “If I haven’t explicitly been told ‘no,’ I can.” There’s a world of difference between these two points of view.

Use the 5 point progress checker before asking for permission:

Are you asking for permission because it’s a habit and you have not learnt to be guided by your own self belief…. yet?
The one you are seeking endorsement from – how likely is it that they need to demonstrate their jobs worth status by declining acts of initiative?
Does your boss actually want to be bothered with your permission seeking or would they rather you just got on and delivered the end result – how ever you go about it?
It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission – are you fearful of having to explain things if you intuition does not work out?
Remember, if you end up as the buck stops here leader, there will be no one to ask – get used to it.

I have a few Coaching slots available, but likely not for long. If you want support in the leap from capable manager to confident leader I’m happy to talk you through the scenario – you don’t need anyones permission!

Have a great week.

The need to motivate others is a sign!

Hiring, Motivation, Struggle, Uncategorized No Responses »

May 022012

The moment you feel the need to motivate someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake or you’ve put the right person is in the wrong role. The’ right’ people don’t need to be motivated. Challenged, lead, taught, acknowledged – yes. But not motivated. The right people in the right job show up motivated. The only thing you need to do as a manager / boss is not demotivate them with your own behaviours; micro managing, focussing on failure and ‘weaknesses’ or competing against them.

As far as your line reports go, your job is to encouarge them to put you out of a job by becomming better than you. (You can then move on to something bigger and bolder for yourself.) What a fabulous gift to them and you.

Which work matters?

Decisions, Energy, Momentum, Overload, Uncategorized No Responses »

Apr 192012

The work that you will judged on when it comes to your annual review – that’s what work. The work that your bonus may be riding on.

Those half a dozen or less objectives you agreed with your boss will be the bottom line for you my friend.

Time to get selfish with a ‘Big S’. If you are in a connundrum about what work to do, where your priorities lie – just review your annual objectives. Which, of course means that sometimes, if you are being resolute and loyal to your goals, that something has to give, something won’t get done, or you’ll have to gracefully decline requests, tasks or interesting but ultimately none showstopping work.

The only time to prioritise is when you are deciding which work to take on in the first place. After that, it’s too late – it takes work to get rid of work.

Stop trying to do everything.

Be clear there are two types of everything.

1. Everything that comes at you during the course of a day. For instance, the digital hailstorm of information, data, other peoples crap or crap that you let yourself get sucked into in a moment of ill judgement. Stop trying to get all that done – because it’s impossible, exhausting, dumb, – it’s a never ending supply.

2. Everything that you have decided to do. (That you have agreed will matter and that you are being paid to make happen)

I have this conversation with busy executives at least once a month. Not because they are not smart or savvy or informed. Mainly it’s because they lose sight of what matters because they are human, fallible, and most honourably, but fatally, because they are trying to help everyone else before themselves.

Just think annual performance appraisal. Your boss might be enamoured if you have handled a lot of nice, interesting stuff – but standby if it’s as a consequence of you not delivering on your core objectives.

(Oh, and by the way, self preservation is good for the whole. If everyone selfishly delivered their core objectives… the business would be in outstanding shape.)

The Strength to let go of Power….

Confidence, Effort, Energy, Uncategorized No Responses »

Mar 212012

Concentrate on building your strength of character versus striving for more power.

The point of power is to wield it for ones own benefit. Building strength is for the purpose of standing by the people or bigger ideas you believe in. The former is inherently self centred, the latter is for the greater good.

Leaders who need to make themselves more and more powerful are likely lacking in strength of character. They lack the strength to let go, the strength to admit failure, the strength to apologise, the strength of belief in their own capability and vision.

It’s possible to build power without without getting your hands dirty, falling over, taking risks or forging authentic relationships.

It’s impossible to build strength of character without being willing to let go, be vulnerable, fail or succeed.

Ultimately people who lead by power generate resistance.

Whereas, it’s great to be lead by someone we know will be strong, is selfless and trustworthy.

Is your path informed by the power you are collecting or, the opportunities to build your strength? You never know unless you check yourself out.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Abraham Lincoln

Creating a Life of Opportunity – By Dan Rockwell

change, Confidence, Momentum, Walking the Talk No Responses »

Jan 022012

The following was such a powerful message to start the new Year I copied it ‘as is’ direct from Dans’ blog. He deeply resonated with me at this time.

Check out Dan’s blog at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/

Creating a Life of Opportunity

Life without opportunities is dull and unfulfilling. Lost opportunities discourage; lack of opportunities defeat.

We’ve all heard people wishing they had more opportunities. This happens for two reasons.

Comparing our opportunities with others makes us want what others have. Envy and greed are, however, partners with emptiness and frustration.
Wrong-headed thinking about opportunities. Opportunities are not primarily about getting.Getting is the result of opportunity not the opportunity itself.

Definition:

Opportunities are your chance to add value before receiving benefit.

You have more opportunities than you can imagine because opportunities are about giving. The more value you add, the greater the opportunity.

Confession:

Dark, greedy selfishness lurks in my heart, alongside generosity. I worry about giving too much and what I’ll get in return. I have two responses to my darkness.

Be generous anyway. I call it acting otherwise.
Experience shows the richness of adding value exceeds the narrowness of greed and envy.

Bottom Line:

The simple act of giving results in richness.

Adding value creates opportunity.

2012 Challenge:

Create a life of opportunity by thinking first of what you give rather than what you get. Worry less about getting and more about adding value.

Be generous and see what happens.

Resources:

Books that will help you build a life of opportunity.

Go Givers by Bob Burg

Leadership is Dead by Jeremie Kubicek

QBQ! The Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller

All Hands on Deck by Joe Tye

**********

How can individuals create a life of opportunity?

Wrapping Up 2011

change, Decisions, Happiness, Momentum, Motivation, Thinking, transition, Uncategorized 1 Response »

Dec 192011

Bring your year end to a definite conclusion and start 2012 with a clear direction. (Why wouldn’t you?)

Myself and Mrs. Fox sit down every year about this time with a glass of sherry and a mince pie and run through the following ‘completion exercise’. In doing so we have tied up and reflected on our last year, giving consideration to accomplishments and setting the tone for what lies ahead. It’s actually really rewarding and quite pleasant!:

What did I accomplish both personally and professionally? (Everything counts from landing business deals to surviving another year as a parent with everyone intact!)
What difficulties did I have to overcome to realise those accomplishments?
What qualities and strengths did I evoke to handle those difficulties?
Given all the above what is now possible for me this next year?Â (Your 12 month personal and professional goals)

All the very best for an extra-ordinary 2012.

Paul

Force Generates Resistance – Excellent News!

Momentum, Motivation, Resistance, Results, Uncategorized 2 Responses »

Nov 212011

Everyone’s heard of resistance training right? You get on a machine in the gym, load it with with weights and will your muscles to move the stack.

The resistance of the loadÂ is what makeÂ your muscles scream in objection, break down and ultimately repair and become stronger.

Resistance to you and your ideas also develops your leadership muscle and diplomacy qualities.

You really, really want people around you who resistÂ you and your ideas – and force you to grow. The alternative? Folks who just roll over and never challenge you. Worse still, your team nod their heads in agreement… and then bugger off and do their own thing regardless.

Hmmm, hang on a minute. So your team never or rarely push back and resist you? That’s because:

They believe its not worth the effort. (To convince you and you then do your own thing regardless of the effort and courage it took them to speak up)
They are too scared to ‘rock the boat’. (Once your team stop bringing you problems and issues you’ve lost leadership)
They are pushing (for now) just you can’t hear it because of your busyness or attachment to your way.
You are not pushing hard enough and no one is feeling the need to resist.

Force is good. Force as a force for good not as a force for ego. Make it your business to know the difference.

Self Interest is Power…

Confidence, Energy, Uncategorized No Responses »

Nov 022011

I’m not talking about the self interest that manipulates power so you win and everyone else loses – we’ll leave that to some of our politician friends…

The pursuit of self knowledge in continually crystallising your understanding of your inherent skills, values, natural abilities, interests, style and goals is the holy grail that is worth pursuing with the determination of Indiana Jones.

Self interest pursued to a conclusion produces worthwhileÂ intelligence:

I’m most skilled at… ?

I struggle with and should avoid tasks such as… because I have reached my ceiling of capability ?

My key natural abilities are… ?

The style I best respond to in a boss is… ?

My authentic style that gets me my best results and makes me most happiest is… ?

What ‘I value’ that gets me out of bed in the morning and gives me energy. My values are…?

How did you do in effortlessly producing answers to the above?

Simple but not necessarily easy!

I have found in my work that people who can answer the above… tend to be those who are most content, at peace, happiestÂ and fulfilled. Sounds like a worthwhile project and it’s one of my works in progress.

I’ve been doing some powerful work with senior teams having them jointly and openly conclude the answers to the above. The experience switches on lights in how to get the most out of each other and how to leverage the uniqueness of the individual abilities for the benefit of the unit.

Words people/clients used in a follow up review to our main session that utilised DISC profiling:

“Powerful, extremely useful, practical, insightful, high impact, switched on multiple lights.”

It’s not because I’m claiming to be super clever or anything like that – I just know that most Top teams or Boards are operating way below their capability and it’s not that complicated to raise the bar through some great conversations.

Self Interest is Power.

Happy Days…?

Confidence, Effort, Happiness 4 Responses »

Oct 242011

IÂ was talking with a client who was a bit low on spirits and energy. I asked him a question:

“Tell me all the things that you are doing both personally and professional that make you happy?”

Client: ……….Â Silence, long silence ( I was getting worried)Â followed by “Not much at all really”

Me in response: “Then you don’t deserve to be happy.”

A bit harsh perhaps, but true. If you don’t do things that lift your spirits and make you happy why on earth would you expect to feel happy?

If you are not very happy it shows. Maybe people around you don’t exactly see that you are a miserable bugger, but your dissatisfaction will seep out of your pores and they’ll pick it up.

Not brilliant… if you want to be a role model of someone who takes care of themselves, has a clear picture of who they are and what they need to be to be happy.Â Yer, whatever the circumstances or vehicle, bottom line is people want to be happy.

Me, I really do want to spend all my time with people who have vitality, energy, joy and take their work but not themselves seriously. Why wouldn’t you?

I remain strongly committed to talking about happiness (sometimes in the face of corporate ridicule). Why? Because I believe happiness is our authentic nature, and for that reason happiness brings out the best in us, both individually and collectively.

So my friend the client writes down a list of all the things that make him feel happy and he takes action to make some, if not all, of them alive again. Because it takes effort to be happy as in any other worthwhile venture.Â I have my list too and we are having a bit of bloke competitive thing to see who can make the most progress before Xmas.

PS Your list likely has two columns. Happiness Producing & Happiness Draining. It’s tough to produce if its going straight down the drain. Eliminating drains is equally as important.

PPS Correct. I always wanted to be Fonzie…

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