Bring your year end to a definite conclusion and start 2012 with a clear direction. (Why wouldn’t you?)

Myself and Mrs. Fox sit down every year about this time with a glass of sherry and a mince pie and run through the following ‘completion exercise’. In doing so we have tied up and reflected on our last year, giving consideration to accomplishments and setting the tone for what lies ahead. It’s actually really rewarding and quite pleasant!:

  • What did I accomplish both personally and professionally? (Everything counts from landing business deals to surviving another year as a parent with everyone intact!)
  • What difficulties did I have to overcome to realise those accomplishments?
  • What qualities and strengths did I evoke to handle those difficulties?
  • Given all the above what is now possible for me this next year?  (Your 12 month personal and professional goals)

 

All the very best for an extra-ordinary 2012.

Paul

Ambiguity is reality. There is no such thing as a linear plan or a worthwhile project that did not veer off course.

Being OK with ambiguity is a great quality; it allows space to reflect within the uncertainty, choices to be made from judgement not from fear or panic.

We are not OK with ambiguity when we are into control of everyone and everything. Control freaks tell you that their regime produces all manner of great results but mostly the opposite is true. Projects, people and ideas are stifled.

Control is an illusion anyway. Name one thing that you have complete and absolute control over?

A number of my clients are working on their ‘ being OK with ambiguity muscle‘ right now. They realise that their Vision has blurred edges – that’s because it has not happened yet and they are making it up as they go along…  going along with some ambiguity and seeing what best choice or turn to make or even to stay on course through the uncertainty.

Play roulette – let it ride! Keep the faith – the story is unfolding.

PS Heaven knows it’s tempting to try and control my rapidly evolving children and their ideas which, sometimes seem a little hair raising.

Good job Mrs. Fox is at hand with “Let them figure it out – because figuring stuff out is how its supposed to be.”

Change is not difficult – Transition is difficult.

It’s not starting something new that is tricky, we are good at that. It’s leaving what’s old and familiar behind that we find painful, messy, awkward or just in the  too hard category.

Change is easy…Transitions are hard.

Yesterday you were single, today you are married. Last month you were the MD, today you are the new CEO. The change was made there and then in the moment.

Now you are in transition from being a single person to being a married person or being the MD and now the CEO. You are learning this as you go along.

If you can’t let go – no transition will take place. (You’ll either end up divorced if you carry on like a single person or you’ll get the sack if you can’t lead as the CEO!)

Think of how many times you’ve tried to make a change and how many times you’ve been successful… but then, often, resistance turns us back to our old ways when the going gets a bit tougher.

Next time, even though it might be a bit uncomfortable or unfamiliar, welcome resistance as feedback, telling you that you’re working your way through the transition.

Starting something new is not the first step. It’s the third.

Before we can begin something, we must lose something – that is, we need to first stop and secondly let go of what no longer works. This may be the most difficult part of the change process because it is uncomfortable to feel the loss of something familiar. Facing fear is probably the most critical step in making change work… Ask yourself, “What is it you’re holding on to that won’t allow you to move forward?”

Being in transition means ‘you are no longer what you were and not yet what you will become’. I call this the no mans land. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable, challenging, difficult because you are evolving.

Be easy with that discomfort – it goes with the territory.

Keep the faith… soon enough you’ll be in your comfort zone and you’ll have to start a whole new transition. Enjoy the ride!

Most of us are much better and more prolific decision makers than we give ourselves credit for.

After all, our day is but a sum total of constant decision making:

Should I get out of bed and go to work?

‘Should I take the back road and avoid the traffic?

Lunch – ‘Egg or spam with my chips?

‘Do I confront my boss today about that dodgy decision he just made?’

‘Should I go home at five and delight my partner or hang around ‘til six to get that report finished?

All day, day in day out -  one decision after another.

So, the Big Questions.

If we are making hundreds perhaps thousands of decisions everyday how come all that practice has not made us masterfully decisive and decisively clever?!

How come we still make big clangers or spend hours, days, years or even decades procrastinating over a decision? A few thoughts…

Time Poverty – Paralysis. We get paralysed about certain decisions because we worry we will make the wrong decision and we ‘don’t have time’ to make wrong decisions’.

Consider most of us have 30 – 60 years remaining life expectancy; therefore, you have all the time in the world to make a decision and course correct if it doesn’t work out. The sailors among you will recognise that sailing a course is just one big exercise in course correction.  (If you don’t know your life expectancy go to this link for a projection based on your personal factors:

Life Expectancy Calculator

Time Poverty – Haste. We make hurried decisions that turn out bad. Again, as we are coming from ‘time is short’ – a time poverty mentality. The scarcity mentality produces decisions based on fear. Fear based decisions are often short-term reactions and short lived in impact.

99.9% of personal regrets will be about things you didn’t do and wished you had rather than about things you did do and wished you had not. Regrets for decisions we made can be healed over time regrets for decisions we didn’t take are inconsolable.  Believe me – or check out your list of regrets.

Decisions create information and more decisions. Every decision you make will provide information and therefore, an opportunity for momentum. Whilst you can’t guarantee the information and where it might lead at least you are keeping the energy alive.  With no decision you can guarantee you will stay as or, where you are.

Get the yardstick out. When faced with a big decision help yourself do the right thing by asking questions such as:

  • Does this decision fit into my identified needs, goals, values and priorities?
  • Does this decision fit into my family’s or businesses values?
  • Does this activity measure up to what my parents have taught me?
  • What does the speaker base his facts on?
  • Do I know anyone who has experienced this?
  • Is this realistic or a fantasy?

Decisions make themselves. However much we believe we are in control of our decisions often times they just rise up from within us when we least expect them and sometimes they don’t…. as much as we would like them too. Sometimes the best decisions we make are really irrational. I remember deciding to buy our current house within 20 seconds of walking through the door – without any idea how we could raise the biggest finance of my life. (Yesterday I spent more time deciding which sandwich to buy in M&S…)

Perfection or Progress. Next time you are stuck just ask;  ‘Do I want perfection or do I want progress?’ It works.

Do the Right Thing. Air Chief Marshall Sir Brian Burridge was  the Commander in Chief of RAF Strike Command.  “I remember as a junior officer in a command position, vacillating about the appropriate punishment for one of my less well-disciplined airmen… he had transgressed – again. How should he be punished? What did the ‘system’ expect? Surely the system was watching my every move and what would ‘it’ think of me if I went against the grain?”

“Away from base on a course, I revealed my dilemma to an experienced, but not particularly senior commander. His advice was simple but telling – ‘Do what you think is right!’

“I now realise that, having the moral courage to do what is in your soul which may go against the grain of the organisation, is fundamental to your intrinsic motivation as a leader. To go against your intuition and find that, actually, you had misjudged the system’s expectations or that it had no expectations at all, undermines the faith in your own judgement. More importantly, if the situation created by your inferior decision becomes unravelled, you will never forgive yourself.”

What I notice with clients is that as soon as they start to base more of their decisions on what they think is right,  the quality of their choices is enhanced and so their success and personal fulfillment.

Get out your paper & pen make a note of those decisions pending and make a commitment to yourself against each. (NB The commitment may be to not rush the decision and to see what unfolds)

© 2012 Constructive Coaching Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha