Creating a Life of Opportunity – By Dan Rockwell

change, Confidence, Momentum, Walking the Talk No Responses »
Jan 022012

The following was such a powerful message to start the new Year I copied it ‘as is’ direct from Dans’ blog. He deeply resonated with me at this time.

Check out Dan’s blog at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/

Creating a Life of Opportunity

Life without opportunities is dull and unfulfilling. Lost opportunities discourage; lack of opportunities defeat.

We’ve all heard people wishing they had more opportunities. This happens for two reasons.

  1. Comparing our opportunities with others makes us want what others have. Envy and greed are, however, partners with emptiness and frustration.
  2. Wrong-headed thinking about opportunities. Opportunities are not primarily about getting.Getting is the result of opportunity not the opportunity itself.

Definition:

Opportunities are your chance to add value before receiving benefit.

You have more opportunities than you can imagine because opportunities are about giving. The more value you add, the greater the opportunity.

Confession:

Dark, greedy selfishness lurks in my heart, alongside generosity. I worry about giving too much and what I’ll get in return. I have two responses to my darkness.

  1. Be generous anyway. I call it acting otherwise.
  2. Experience shows the richness of adding value exceeds the narrowness of greed and envy.

Bottom Line:

The simple act of giving results in richness.

Adding value creates opportunity.

2012 Challenge:

Create a life of opportunity by thinking first of what you give rather than what you get. Worry less about getting and more about adding value.

Be generous and see what happens.

Resources:

Books that will help you build a life of opportunity.

Go Givers by Bob Burg

Leadership is Dead by Jeremie Kubicek

QBQ! The Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller

All Hands on Deck by Joe Tye

**********

How can individuals create a life of opportunity?

Posted by Paul Fox at 10:09 am Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Wrapping Up 2011

change, Decisions, Happiness, Momentum, Motivation, Thinking, transition, Uncategorized 1 Response »
Dec 192011

Bring your year end to a definite conclusion and start 2012 with a clear direction. (Why wouldn’t you?)

Myself and Mrs. Fox sit down every year about this time with a glass of sherry and a mince pie and run through the following ‘completion exercise’. In doing so we have tied up and reflected on our last year, giving consideration to accomplishments and setting the tone for what lies ahead. It’s actually really rewarding and quite pleasant!:

  • What did I accomplish both personally and professionally? (Everything counts from landing business deals to surviving another year as a parent with everyone intact!)
  • What difficulties did I have to overcome to realise those accomplishments?
  • What qualities and strengths did I evoke to handle those difficulties?
  • Given all the above what is now possible for me this next year? (Your 12 month personal and professional goals)

 

All the very best for an extra-ordinary 2012.

Paul

Posted by Paul Fox at 12:46 pm Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

Put Up Your Boundaries!

Confidence, Time & Productivity, Uncategorized, Walking the Talk 3 Responses »
Sep 122011

It’s almost impossible to be successful without firm and clear boundaries.

We naturally respect people who have strong boundaries.

A boundary simply defines what people can and can’t do to you or, do around you.

Some folks just put in boundaries without even thinking about it and we like that as ‘we know where we stand . People love to know where they stand – they have clarity. People love clarity.

If I asked you to name your top boundaries, could you rattle them off without much thought?

For example, you may already have in place the obvious boundary that people can’t punch you on the nose or pat your backside, but do you have in place the boundary that people can’t lie to you, give you unsolicited feedback, show up late, complain, be cynical, waste your time, gossip about others or make negative remarks?

It takes much less energy to put in place strong boundaries than it does to deal with people who are constantly trampling over them.

Until you learn to deal with others undesirable behaviour it would seem life has this knack of keep sending that type of person your way. You can run but you can’t hide from your inability to deal with certain people!

I spent years avoiding the contentious types and heavens knows they showed up everywhere until I learnt how to handle them.

BIG falsehood. Often people have woolly boundaries as they ‘want to be liked’. Contrary to popular views, strong boundaries make you more popular – you got it – people like to know where they stand.

The Strategy.

Write down at least ten boundaries that you currently don’t have, but would like to have or, need to more firmly establish:

  1. ____________________________
  2. ____________________________
  3. ____________________________
  4. ____________________________
  5. ____________________________
  6. ____________________________
  7. ____________________________
  8. ____________________________
  9. ____________________________
  10. ____________________________

 

Establishing Boundaries – 4 Step Process:

  1. Inform. Inform the person of the behaviour or action that compromises your boundaries. The key is to use a neutral tone of voice, free of edge or judgment. E.g. “ Are you aware Bill that you always show up late when we arrange to meet?”
  2. Request. Make a request that is clear and precise and lets the person know what you want. E.g. “John, I would ask that you do not give me advice unless I ask for it. I value your opinion so I will ask for it when I want it. Thank you.”
  3. Demand. Explain in no uncertain terms what you require and the consequence if they cannot adhere to that demand. E.g. “Jean, I insist you do not make undermining comments about me or around other people. This is a deal breaker. If you continue to do that I will consider ending our relationship.”
  4. Leave. Walk away from, end, leave the job, relationship, situation or company – without resentment or judgment as you did all that you could do.

With acknowledgment to:

http://www.amazon.com/Coach-Yourself-Success-Personal-Reaching/dp/0809225379

Posted by Paul Fox at 2:34 pm Tagged with: , , , , ,

The Confidence Game

Confidence, Energy, Motivation No Responses »
Jul 042011

People and their confidence is not a fixed relationship. The significant people around you often have their confidence dwindle, sometimes to almost nothing. The ‘cost’ of that is they’ll play a smaller game and avoid being extra-ordinary.

Don’t even bother asking ask ‘Do I impact on staff confidence?“ You do. Every interaction you have with people will either raise, maintain or lower their confidence. That is a hefty responsibility.

So if you are going to impact confidence you may as well boost not drain. Build them up – don’t pull them down.

Lessons from my mother in law:

Nothing Grandma Penny does with my children has any intent other than to make them feel cared for, that anything is possible and that ‘they can do it’. And when they can’t do it – she holds their disappointment with respect and curiosity about how they can make progress .

The Method:

How is she so good at building the grand-kids confidence?”

  1. Her attention is with them and nowhere else.
  2. She converses with them as equals.
  3. No one is expected to do anything they won’t enjoy.
  4. Creativity is never quashed or corrected. (Purple trees and pink elephant drawings are just fine and dandy)
  5. Behaviour that is desired is praised and rewarded. (We get through a lot glitter stars and sweeties)

The Point:

People who feel cared for and valued live with higher levels of confidence. Confidence makes things happen.

Making people feel confident is a high payback activity for owners and managers and is something that nurtures our own confidence and vitality in the process.

Posted by Paul Fox at 1:16 pm Tagged with: , ,
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