When was the last time you figured out how much of your time you spend in survival mode? I’d check if I was you – mostly our survival mode is unobserved by the self.

Survival based existence is just getting by, making it to the end of the day, putting on hold personal evolution or revolution. It’s forsaking longer term self growth and realising your potential for the immediate gratification of getting by or the prevention of disappearance into one’s own tight dark space.

One very capable, smart and savvy client I’m working with has just ‘got’ that his intent is to survive meetings with his boss. On reflection, in his words ‘pathetic’. My words, ‘good, now you can change to  a more powerful intent (like raising the bar)- for you and your boss’.

The dictionary defines sur·viv·al as a noun as follows. ( I believe it’s more of a condition for the unsuspecting – not a noun):

  • The act or fact of surviving,  especially under adverse or unusual circumstances.
  • A person or thing that survives  or endures, especially an ancient custom, observance, belief, or the like.
  • Anthropology  (no longer in technical use) the persistence of a cultural trait, practice, or the like long after it has lost its original meaning or usefulness.

 Questions to identify the survivor:

  1. Are you surviving until the weekend so you can do a bit of recovery and then start surviving again on Monday?
  2. Are you engaged in activity professionally and personally that is more about thriving over surviving?
  3. Do you spend your days in ‘fight or flight’ mode; pumped up, adrenalized, caffeinated, edgy!?
  4. You feel its all about catch up, keep up – not about being ahead of the curve?
  5. Are you happy with how your days, weeks, months and years are being used up? Clue – do you feel you have been surviving them versus thriving and squeezing the juice out of time?

Step 1.

Realisation is the first step, maybe the only step as all change flows from the wake up call.

Ask yourself  ‘what is my intent in this situation. Am I just just trying to survive or am I maximising all I can be and all I can accomplish?’

Me, I have just woken up from a low level survival sleep and I never saw it happening. Somebody old and oriental said ‘what dosen’t kill you makes you stronger’.

We all get into survival at some point – the trick is to stop and notice.

 

 

The work that you will judged on when it comes to your annual review – that’s what work. The work that your bonus may be riding on.

Those half a dozen or less objectives you agreed with your boss will be the bottom line for you my friend.

Time to get selfish with a ‘Big S’.  If you are in a connundrum about what work to do, where your priorities lie – just review your annual objectives. Which, of course means that sometimes, if you are being resolute and loyal to your goals, that something has to give, something won’t get done, or you’ll have to gracefully decline requests, tasks or interesting but ultimately none showstopping work.

The only time to prioritise is when you are deciding which work to take on in the first place. After that, it’s too late – it takes work to get rid of work.

Stop trying to do everything.

Be clear there are two types of everything.

1. Everything that comes at you during the course of a day. For instance, the digital hailstorm of information, data, other peoples crap or crap that you let yourself get sucked into in a moment of ill judgement.  Stop trying to get all that done – because it’s impossible, exhausting, dumb, – it’s a never ending supply.

2. Everything that you have decided to do. (That you have agreed will matter and that you are being paid to make happen)

I have this conversation with busy executives at least once a month. Not because they are not smart or savvy or informed. Mainly it’s because they lose sight of what matters because they are human, fallible, and most honourably, but fatally, because they are trying to help everyone else before themselves.

Just think annual performance appraisal.  Your boss might be enamoured if you have handled  a lot of nice, interesting stuff – but standby if it’s as a consequence of you not delivering on your core objectives.

(Oh, and by the way, self preservation is good for the whole. If everyone selfishly delivered their core objectives… the business would be in outstanding shape.)

 

Bring your year end to a definite conclusion and start 2012 with a clear direction. (Why wouldn’t you?)

Myself and Mrs. Fox sit down every year about this time with a glass of sherry and a mince pie and run through the following ‘completion exercise’. In doing so we have tied up and reflected on our last year, giving consideration to accomplishments and setting the tone for what lies ahead. It’s actually really rewarding and quite pleasant!:

  • What did I accomplish both personally and professionally? (Everything counts from landing business deals to surviving another year as a parent with everyone intact!)
  • What difficulties did I have to overcome to realise those accomplishments?
  • What qualities and strengths did I evoke to handle those difficulties?
  • Given all the above what is now possible for me this next year? (Your 12 month personal and professional goals)

 

All the very best for an extra-ordinary 2012.

Paul

IÂ was talking with a client who was a bit low on spirits and energy. I asked him a question:

“Tell me all the things that you are doing both personally and professional that make you happy?”

Client: ………. Silence, long silence ( I was getting worried) followed by “Not much at all really”

Me in response: “Then you don’t deserve to be happy.”

A bit harsh perhaps, but true. If you don’t do things that lift your spirits and make you happy why on earth would you expect to feel happy?

If you are not very happy it shows. Maybe people around you don’t exactly see that you are a miserable bugger, but your dissatisfaction will seep out of your pores and they’ll pick it up.

Not brilliant… if you want to be a role model of someone who takes care of themselves, has a clear picture of who they are and what they need to be to be happy. Yer, whatever the circumstances or vehicle, bottom line is people want to be happy.

Me, I really do want to spend all my time with people who have vitality, energy, joy and take their work but not themselves seriously. Why wouldn’t you?

I remain strongly committed to talking about happiness (sometimes in the face of corporate ridicule). Why? Because I believe happiness is our authentic nature, and for that reason happiness brings out the best in us, both individually and collectively.

So my friend the client writes down a list of all the things that make him feel happy and he takes action to make some, if not all, of them alive again. Because it takes effort to be happy as in any other worthwhile venture. I have my list too and we are having a bit of bloke competitive thing to see who can make the most progress before Xmas.

PS Your list likely has two columns. Happiness Producing & Happiness Draining. It’s tough to produce if its going straight down the drain. Eliminating drains is equally as important.

PPS Correct. I always wanted to be Fonzie…

 

All great endeavours require effort? You better believe it.

Let’s stop confusing struggle with effort though.

Effort is energy optimised to reach the outcome. Struggle is wasted effort – not moving the outcome forward very efficiently.

How about the ‘principle of least effort’ which, is often confused for laziness – when it simply means ‘least effort’?

It’s not that effort isn’t required – but why make it harder than it has to be in order to justify the effort as more valid in some way?

I was recently moving a 1/2 a tonne of topsoil from one side of my garden to the other. I followed the route of least effort and used the already well trodden dirt path.I could have broken a new route to make it harder and struggled over the rocks with the wheelbarrow – just to feel some sense of having done it the tough way and padding my ego with that nonsense - I don’t think so!

Yet, I did expend considerable effort to shift the soil – even when following the path. So least does not necessarily mean not enough, poor or mediocre.

A good personal trainer would look to minimise effort in for results out. It just makes sense.

However in business, we sometimes think for anything to be worth something it has to be a big struggle.

Doing things the easy way is not lazy – it’s smart! If you are struggling with a project in your business, stop, work out what effort is required but how might you end the struggle.

Thanks to my friend Byron for this idea from a Facebook thread of his:

http://www.conferencecalltraining.com/

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